IS Honesty the best Policy?

When I was younger, and thought I knew it all, my motto was always to act now and think later no matter how my words made others feel. Wow, did I sure find myself in quite the verbal battles over the years, that if foreseen I would never have ventured that road in the first place. I felt that by always speaking my mind that I was being true to myself but reality soon sunk in and I quickly found myself losing friends. And had develop quite the reuptation with my family as the "bitchy/bossy" one. All because I was being TOO honest.

It took a lot of time for me to finally realize it was not necessarily the things I was saying it was the way I was saying them. I didn't want to be that person. So my first step to changing that was to get the hell out out of dodge, as Pops would say. I needed to get myself out of the same old situations that I always put myself in and just start over. So after graduation I moved to Sunny San Deigo and in the last 3 years my perception on life has changed for the better. 

Over the years I have found ways to be more sensitive and develop filters, there is a very thin line between getting your point across without losing that sense of honesty and being straight out hurtful. Being truthful and honest is one thing, but it is quite another to be ruthless and malicious with your words. 

It has never been my intent to hurt anyone's feelings or ruin relationships from my brutal honesty, but all I can say is I will do my best to have a softer hand in the future. Also I hope this will shed some light on those who should consider doing the same. You know who you are. 

So until next time kids, have a great evening and just love eachother. 

My Family Values

Let's jump right into a sensitive subject... Family.  When it comes to writing about family, especially mine, it can go one of two ways. 1. Absolutely fantastic or 2. Disastrous! Personally I have always been a strong willed, opinionated and extremely honest person and am completely incapable of sugar coating anything and with certain members of my family in order to keep the peace sugar coating is often required. 

Looking back at the last 10 years I have come to realize that I may have been a lot harder and just downright cruel at times to some of my family. I guess part of me thought that I was telling them what they needed to hear because no one else would. And continued to ask myself, "If I don't say anything, then who will?". I just felt that someone had to be the bad guy, and I figured if no one else was going to do it then why not me? So I spoke my mind and often without thinking about what the outcome may be or consequences of my actions. But at this point in my life, even though I know I was completely justified, I cannot help but think, who the hell was I to judge anyone? I know I am not perfect, and I have made plenty of mistakes that to this day I am still learning from. Judging others for the mistakes they made was wrong and completely inconsiderate of me. Mistakes are a given and making them is only human. Although following the wrong path happens to the best of us, all that can be done is to learn from them and strive to steer our lives in a better direction. 

In a perfect world with family comes love, truth and acceptance. Acceptance of all flaws, imperfections and the respect of ones personal beliefs even if they do not match your own. It means to love those even if it means not understanding why they do the things they do. Not one of us is perfect and those who claim to be are self-righteous and undeserving of the love from the ones they call family. The choices and decisions we make in life are our own and where we end up are result of the choices we have made, no matter how blissful or disastrous the outcomes may be. 

As I get older and continue to grow, I can only hope to be wiser and more compassionate than I was in my younger years. I hope that I can be a person my family can turn to whenever and for whatever they need. And as my own family begins to build, I want to know that I can be that positive role model my kids can look up to. And hope that I can give them the tools to be understanding and compassionate but honest adults.

So please remember to love your family despite their flaws and imperfections. They have chosen their own paths and make their own decisions, just as you have chosen yours. Do not judge. For if you cannot ACCEPT them for their flaws you should not expect them to accept you for yours. They are the only family you have and you should enjoy every second you have together because nothing lasts forever.